pissed off!

tsubasa here~

today i don't go to college. why? because i don't wanna go. why? because........
actually this is my last semester, but i can't find 'spirit' to do anything related to my college or other things. I've lost my passion towards college for a while now. i didn't knew whats wrong with me. but i knew for sure that i was drained. fully exhausted!

it's been one and a half year i went to college. I've felt very very tired, i thought that maybe, maybe I've reached my limit that time. i can't take it any longer. i thought. but i keep going, keep trying my hardest to overcame my limit and find another 'spirit'. and then i found it. i can took over and now,, here. I'm in my last semester. but dammit, why don't you leave me alone.... i feel tired again.
i feel more drained, and i think this time i will sink deeper than before. I'll sink deeper to the hell hole. *sigh*
just wait~

i thought, perhaps i feel this way because i didn't have any dreams left.
maybe i felt obliged because of my parents dreams of me. i....
my last semester is my duty to please my parents. i have to find a way to please myself when i pleasing them. i have to find my passion, before my parents once again took over my life.

now,, i wanna hit someone, something. i wanna break them. crush them. make them suffer like i do.
arghhh.... fuck off alreadyyyy!!!!!